Happy Friday, everyone!!
I'm getting so excited about Easy as I write these two. Simon won me over in Favor and I knew he needed his own story and to find that special someone who can give him everything he needs.
I thought I should share a little bit of their story so you all can see how fun it's going to be. Below is an unedited excerpt from Easy--it's actually the beginning of the first chapter!
Don't forget to preorder so you can start reading Easy as soon as it goes live (which won't be May 31st LOL but I'm keeping the real release date close to the vest for now).
“Okay, but for real, why does everyone have a pierced dick nowadays?”
Simon waited for Jeremy to quit laughing in his ear, staring up at the dark light above him as he hung out in the quiet little room. His friend Tracy had gotten him in to see her boss last minute, but it was the end of the day and her and the rest of the hygienists and the sweet old lady who’d greeted him at the front desk were all gone. The place was a little eerie with the lights dimmed and no one there but him and the dentist. Tracy said he would be out to see him just as soon as he finished getting caught up on things in his office.
Being creeped out had spurred his phone call with his supposed bestie, but he was regretting that decision since Jeremy wasn’t being very supportive at the moment.
“Where did that even come from?” Jeremy asked, still chuckling a little.
“I’m at the dentist because this guy chipped my damn tooth with his pierced dick.” He waited for the laughter to stop again. “This isn’t funny, you asshole. Piercings are so dumb.”
“My husband vehemently disagrees.”
“Ugh, gross. Don’t remind me of your blissful happiness right now.”
No, he wasn’t, but Simon let it go, sighing and wiggling on the reclined chair. Tracy had barely glanced at his mouth before patting his shoulder, telling him he’d be fine, then taking off. He couldn’t blame her though—she had a wife and baby to get home to. Jeremy was the same. He and his husband Declan were annoyingly happy as well, with a sweet little boy they’d adopted keeping them on their toes.
Simon had… no one.
And wasn’t that depressing as fuck.
“What exactly happened?” Jeremy asked after a second, sounding more serious.
“I was with this guy last night,” Simon said, closing his eyes and shivering. The man had been stupid hot. He should have taken his pierced lip as a warning though and stayed far, far away. “We were on his couch—well, he was on his couch and I was on him—”
Simon ignored him. “And I thought we were going to move to his bedroom for the main event, you know? But then he’s all ‘hey, sugar, why don’t you show me what that mouth can do?’”
Jeremy snorted. “Please tell me he didn’t have that terrible Southern accent.”
“Okay, so I may have made that up, but he totally asked me to suck his dick like that. Which, whatever, I’m down with it. So I get on my knees and start giving him some really primo material, like I was totally on my game last night.”
“Thank you.” He fingered the sharp divot missing out of his bottom tooth. “That’s where it all went wrong though.”
“Because his dick was pierced?”
“Yes!” He slapped a hand over his mouth and peered over his shoulder to make sure he was still alone. The doorway was empty though, with no sign of the dentist yet, and the building still eerily silent and dark. He wasn’t sure exactly where the guy’s office was but he was sure he’d hear him coming. Quieter, he repeated, “Yes.”
“And you weren’t prepared to… work with that?”
Simon rolled his eyes and collapsed back onto his reclined chair. “I’m prepared to work with anything. Big or small. Cut or uncut. Pierced or not. It doesn’t matter—I can still suck a guy’s soul out through his cock, okay?”
Muffled laughter was Jer’s only response for a moment. “So sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t… suck out his soul. What happened then?”
Sighing, he softly banged his head back against the headrest a few times. “My skills were too good. Three minutes in, he’s grunting like a linebacker.”
“Oof. That’s disappointing.”
“Right? But I figure, he’ll at least return the favor so it won’t be a total waste even if I miss out on getting fucked like I’d been hoping. Maybe he’d finger me while he—”
“Always with the oversharing.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. So you can tell me about that time your husband—”
“Shhh. You were supposed to forget I told you about that. Drunken confessionals are sacred.” Jeremy’s voice got muffled as he said, “Nothing! Don’t you have to go do that thing?”
It was Simon’s turn to snicker. “In trouble with the hubby?”
There were some more garbled exchanges before Jeremy said a little more clearly, “Okay, see you later. Keep an eye on Maddox—your dad is way too lax about letting him near power tools… Mhm, sure. Bye, love you.”
Smiling wistfully, Simon couldn’t help the twist in his stomach. He was happy for Jeremy, really, but a part of him was also jealous. He wanted what he and Declan had. A family. Someone to love him and maybe some kids to cover them in glitter and apple juice. More than anything, he just… He wanted a soft place to land when his brain became too chaotic.
“Did you say his dad was lax about power tools around Maddox?” he asked, alarm shooting through him as the words finally registered.
Jeremy sighed. “He spoils that boy so much. Let’s him have whatever he wants, which includes holding the cordless drill apparently.”
“That seems dangerous.”
“Yeah, he got an earful from his wife and Declan, but Declan is going over to help him with some project so I felt like a reminder was in order.”
“I thought so. Anyway, so you were blowing this random dude’s world…”
“Right,” Simon said, getting back into his story and doing his best to ignore the fact that he was envious of his best friend’s family. “So he’s about ready to pop but before I can move my head back, he grips my hair and just, like, rips my mouth off him.”
“What the hell?”
“The barbell going through the head of his dick catches on my teeth which hurts me but not nearly as much as it did him.”
“Yeah, he just starts screaming like I cut it off or something. I thought the piercing had ripped through the tissue or something, honestly. I was freaking out, trying to get him to move his hands so I could see how bad it was and if there’s any blood, but he’s just cupping himself and going on and on about how bad it hurts.” Simon grimaced at the memory. He’d seriously been freaking out, thinking he’d maimed the guy for life.
“Yeah.” Simon shook his head. “Turned out, it was fine. Piercing was still there and there wasn’t any visible damage or blood.”
Jeremy was silent for a second as he processed that. “Wow. Okay, well I’m sure that put a damper on things.”
“Understatement. I tried to calm him down since he was still, like, hysterical—kept saying I’d ripped off his dick when I very clearly did not nor was the near miss even my fault—but he practically threw me out and slammed the door in my face.”
“Wow,” Jeremy said again, sound almost impressed with how horribly things had gone.
“Yeah. And I didn’t even notice he’d chipped my tooth with his little maneuver until this morning. I had to work all day with it. No one said anything, but I’m sure they noticed. It was humiliating. I’m glad Tracy got me in after hours to see her boss.”
“Don’t you have your own dentist?”
Simon rolled his eyes. What kind of question was that? “Of course I do. Or, well, I did. He retired a couple months ago, and his son took over the practice. I haven’t gotten around to finding someone new yet, but after Dr. Allbrook was so cool about letting me intrude on him, I’ll probably just start coming here.”
“Wait. Why couldn’t you just go see your old dentist’s son?”
“I dated him a few years ago and things did not end well.”
“Don’t ‘Simon’ me. I didn’t know he was my dentist’s son until after we’d already hooked up a few times. Besides, slut shaming isn’t cool anymore.” He grinned at Jeremy’s annoyed sigh.
“I’m not slut shaming you. You know I don’t care how many guys you sleep with, but you told me like two weeks ago you were done with meaningless hookups. You said you wanted something real. And now you’re at the dentist because some rando fucked up your tooth.”
His amusement drained away. He had said that and he’d even mostly meant it. He was going to be thirty before he knew it and was ready to find his perfect someone like Jeremy had. But… “I do want that. I want a guy to sweep me off my feet like Declan did you.”
Simon huffed out a breath. “But I can’t just give up on going out and hooking up on the off chance my dream guy will fall into my lap. Not all of us have big brother’s whose friends we can pilfer. Besides, you know how I get if I don’t get boned down—”
“—regularly. Last summer, I went into that fugue state and ended up in Canada after six weeks of celibacy.”
“That wasn’t a fugue state! That was too much weed on top of three days of binging frozen margs with those sorority girls you somehow befriended.”
He waved a hand in front of himself. “Regardless—I befriended them and made poor choices on my consumption of tequila and cannabis because I hadn’t had a dick inside me for six weeks. Six. Weeks. I’m not made for a life like that.” Simon shuddered just at the reminder of what it had been like. His skin had felt like it was shrinking, and his thoughts had gotten so damn loud he’d just wanted to drown out the noise. “I need my guts regularly rearranged or I start to make poor choices.”
“Shut up. That is the last time I let someone from that bar down on Sixth pick me up though. The last guy was a fucking weirdo too. Remember? The dude with the ferrets?”
Jeremy made a pained sound. “Oh my god, yes. I remember—please don’t repeat what happened. I had nightmares for a week after that.”
“You? You had nightmares? I’m the one who almost had a live animal—”
A ball of dread slammed into Simon’s chest, his whole body jolting in shock and then stiffening in terror at the quiet throat clearing behind him. Jeremy was in his ear, begging him not to tell the ferret story and laughing, having not even noticed that Simon had swallowed his tongue and perished on the spot.